


Christmas Party Shenanigans

by Ark666



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Ana is mom, Christmas Party, Dad Reaper, F/F, F/M, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Storytime, genji needs healing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23922313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ark666/pseuds/Ark666
Summary: Come on everybody to Overwatch's party! With the holiday spirit in mind Talon and the outlaws Roadhog and Junkrat have been invited to join the party. Just be warned that Gabriel may mess with Torbjorn's cooking again, that Junkrat and D.va may get sugar high, and that Amelie may drink up all of the alcohol again. Be warned as the brothers may fight, and that the medic won't heal, Angela needs a day off with her wife! So come one, so come all to join the OVERWATCH CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!Each chapter will focus on a different aspect of the party.
Relationships: Fareeha "Pharah" Amari/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, Jesse McCree & Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison, Roadhog | Mako Rutledge/Widowmaker | Amélie Lacroix
Kudos: 8





	Christmas Party Shenanigans

Chapter One

“Do you have any common sense!” Ana yelled at Jesse whose hands were under lukewarm running water. 

“The timer went off and I didn’t want the sugar cookies to burn,” the younger man defended himself against the onslaught of lecturing. Jesse had been able to get the tray out of the oven and on the stove top before he felt it really starting to hurt. Angela came in the room, took one look at Jesse’s hands and backed out of the room without a word.

“Just wait until your fathers come in and hear what you did to yourself this time. You’re a grown man who can shoot perfectly, but won’t use oven mitts! I should sign you up for a begginer’s cooking class ment for children!” Ana continued lecturing on as Hanzo eventually came back with some burn ointment and gauze and bandaging equipment.

She continued to yell at him until Jack came in and joined too. After Hanzo was done bandaging his hands up Jack led him into the room where everyone else was at. From there the two worked quickly to make the frosting and other batches of the cookies to decorate and feed the party of people. Jesse wasn’t being much help anyways. Although Hanzo lamented that he wasn't going to be able purposely make a bag of powdered sugar explode all over his husband. There’s always Genji if he walks in, or calls him in. 

“Hey siri,” Hanzo asked his watch.

“What can I help you with?” the AI asked him lighting up.

“Call Genji,” the elder Shimada snickered.

“Calling Genji,” the AI turned to the phone call.

“Yes brother?” Genji picked up on the third ring.

“Can you help me and Ana decorate cookies in the kitchen. As you can see Jesse is no longer able to help. Also don’t let the younger ones know. Hana and Jamison will come in here and eat everything before it’s all done,” Hanzo warned. It’s not like anyone could forget Halloween when the Chariot to Hell and Dr. Jaimison Junkenstein ate all the sugar on base, and Hanzo thought only toddlers were horrible when they had too much sugar. 

“Be over in a few moments,” Genji hung up shuttering at the thought that those two could get sugar high again. With his plan in place Hanzo set up the movement activated device under one of the open bags of powdered sugar. Within half a minute Genji walked in and went over to Hanzo. “What can I do to help?”

“Could you make some more blue frosting for the cookies by using the recipe over there?” Hanzo pointed over to where he had his trap set up. This was perfect, the cyborg wasn’t wearing his armor so he was exposed to-

“Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuso...HAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOO! ONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISAN! NANI WO SHIMASU KA? SHINE!!!” (Shit...Hanzo! MR. OGER! WHAT DID YOU DO? DIE!) Genji screamed, throwing an open gallon of milk on Hanzo.

Grabbing both their ears Ana pulled them to the room where everyone else was in and pushed them away once in there. “Do I have to do everything myself? Stay out of the kitchen you five. Genji! Hanzo! Jesse! Jamison! Hana!” Ana scolded rolling her eyes. She caught the look on Gabe’s face. “You too Gabe! I don’t want a repeat of what happened during the omnic crisis!” Ana turned a heel and walked back into kitchen 3. 

“That was years ago!” Gabe yelled back at her. 

“Still too soon!!!” she yelled from the other room.

“How could that be any worse than this?” Hanzo tried brushing off some of the milk with a scowl.

“It was so much worse…” Jack trailed off thinking about it. “It was when Torbjorn made meatballs for the first time. For years we couldn’t have any red sauce without thinking about what he did.”

“You’re blowing it out of proportion again. I still ate red sauce after that,” Gabe rolled his eyes helping Jesse to drink his whiskey.

“Then tell us what happened then?” Jack crossed his arms annoyed. 

“FINE!” Gabe snorted. “I wanted to pull a prank since it was the first time we had off in over a month. I got some firecrackers, a ziplock bag and something to detonate the firecrackers when they were in the sauce. The detonator didn’t work unfortunately, but I didn’t get the result I thought I would, but it was hilarious! You should’ve seen everyone’s faces when it went on everyone and all over the room. I thought it would have made a Hawiian eruption, but this thing was Pompeii! Torb didn’t make meatballs for a few years after that!”

Everyone in the room erupted in laughter except the others who were there to witness the monstrosity in action. “They never could prove it was you that did it Gabe, not for years,” Reinheart frowned at him.

“That’s not as bad as the time Moria made bunnies for the team for Christmas,” Gabe frowned.

“I didn’t think that they’d turn out to be like Halloween movie monsters, but trial and error,” Moria thought back on it.

“I remember that one,” Jesse frowned at remembering it. “The worst part about them was that they mutated to be more powerful and smarter. From what I saw over the week of having my bunny taught me is that the world will be taken over by not omnics, but genetically modified creatures. 

“Years ago for the second Christmas that Moria was here she gave me, Gabe, Genji, and herself bunnies that she made. They were adorable, but I still have nightmares about them. Gabe won’t admit it but he does too. Anyways they were like normal bunnies, but smarter and they looked sorta similar to us. Our bunnies kept getting smarter and smarter. I taught mine how to go up to someone else and play dead when they pet it. On command!!! All I had to do was to wave my middle and index finger and the bunny ran up to someone else and acted all adorable, and then the poor sap would reach down and pet it and it fell over even breathing like it had been hurt, and then it would hold its breath until I started laughing.

“Since we go on missions the bunnies would be babysat together. That’s how they’d communicate with one another. Gabe’s bunny started playing the trick on him. Even going as far to make him bring it to Moria’s lab to see what had happened to it. Mine started spitting out sharpened bits of carrot at me. They didn’t hurt until the bastard got smart enough to use wood. I have a scar from the time it stabbed a piece of wood through my hand. That scar wasn’t from something cool but from Frankinstein’s lab. 

Moria’s bunny had broken into her lab and got some chemicals to grow. That was terrifying when it got the other bunnies. Needless to say the four of us had to put them down since they were attempting to kill us.” Jesse shivered.

“That is not as bad as what Sombra did,” Amelie sipped a bottle of Jack Dainials. “Sombra last Holiday Season decorated everything with holoscreen displays, however, on Christmas Eve night she decided to change them all into her. Animated AI too!!! They walked around. As if one of them wasn’t bad enough!!!”

“I’m right here,” Sombra pouted.

“All of these Sombras running around yelling, taunting, and booping everyone. It was so annoying. They even got into my room. That was the night I felt fear again for the first time in years! I had no fears before, but the apocalypse of Sombra is not something I want to go through again,” Amelie shivered.

“That was before I came back to my senses too. I saw a bunch of Jesses and Sombras. Imagine 50 Jesses all pestering you. It’s a good thing I only have one kid,” Gabe rubbed his forehead. 

“You saw the cowboy?” Amelie questioned.

“I’m not going to say what I saw while I was captured there,” Angela crossed her arms.

Angela saw a lot of Genji’s hopping around saying, ‘I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing, I need healing’

It was her personal hell.

Sombra stood up, “The AI worked to display someone that can get on your nerves a lot. It was mostly me on base, but to some it was other people. Usually ones that you love, or kids in Gabe’s case.”

“The meatballs are ready!” Torbjorn exclaimed running into the room. An explosion was heard in the kitchen he’d just come out of. “Gabriel...did you just do that?”

“GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Jack, Ana, Torbjorn, Reinhart, and a few others screamed. Going into smoke Gabe went into the air vent to go anywhere but where he was standing.


End file.
